Nordstrom is offering for sale these muddy-looking jeans.. and you can get them for under $500.
The description, in part, reads: Heavily distressed medium-blue denim jeans in a comfortable straight-leg fit .. with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you're not afraid to get down and dirty.
OR.. I could get you a real deal, just come hang out with my horse Suzy Q, and your clothes can be muddied up for FREE!!!
BUT WAIT IT GETS BETTER!
The description: Slick plastic panels bare your knees for a futuristic feel in tapered and cropped high-waist jeans.